Singleton Humor Gifts

'I've been through all the men on the dating sites ... I need to see your male mug book.'

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'...But I confessed to Oprah...isn't that in there?'

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

Boyfriend Shirt.

"Lucky!"

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

Sex is for Procreation Only.

A snowman protests the sun.

"Crap! There's a really big piece of tape!"

"The wheels on the Mercedes C300 Sport Sedan mommy got in the divorce settlement go round and round, round and round ..."

The Loneliest Archaeologist

Why so sad? All my friends are divorced and I'm not even married!

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

'You never knew your father- he went to market.'

'Saint Peter wants to borrow a lawyer.'

Every summer Frank spends time at the beach catching up with his reading!

Lovematch Dating . . . Please wait here.

Heat reduction.

'Just think-if we floodlight the garden we'll be able to tell the time at NIGHT too!'

Guy on island: 'Stop drawing cartoons about me!'

"I.T. says I need a padlock for my PC."

'The eternal bachelor'

'Stop acting lonelier-than-thou.'

"So, always remember to bring your fat guy inside when temperatures are above 70 degrees. And, also remember that I am not only the spokesman and advocate, but I am also a fat guy. Thank you."