Singles Scene Explorer Pillows

Singles Bar - "Yes I'm a dog but I've got a great personality."

'There's a lot to be said for hyper, outgoing guys who love to talk to strangers. Want to hear about it?'

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Online Dating

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"I just love a nice knight out."

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

Alligator Bars

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"I need a man who will commit."

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

'Gordon is the latest in a series of unfulfilling relationships.'

'....in fact, I don't even know why Mrs. Goldberg put us together.'

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

Bigfoot Singles - 'Currently online: 1'

"When I put that in my computer dating information, it was just an expression!"

The hazards of cyberdating.

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'

"I miss the days when people were ashamed to admit they met online."

Chick Magnet

'I'll tell you a joke; I lied about the GSOH!'