Singing Showdowns Gifts

These guys are going to have some kind of contest. (Musical note.) Let's see who sings the best. (Question mark.) No. Let's play "Jeopardy." All answers must be in the form of a question. (Exclamation point.) Whatever we do, I'll be the most enthusiastic!! (Ampersand.) Can we form partnerships? (Dollar sign.) Is there any prize money? (Percentage symbol.) What are the chances of winning? (Asterisk.) Winning's not that important. With me here, winning will be marked as not wholly

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Skate or die."

Tenors

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

Pirate King

A singer being criticised

'It soon became obvious, this stranger meant business!'

"Problem is, it's the only song he knows."

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

'Uh-oh, here comes the mike again. Cut the barbershop quartet and go back to mournful whistling.'

"Pistols at dawn?"

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

'Them's fightin' tweets!'

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'Congratulations on reaching the grand final, how does it feel to be the biggest loser of all time?'

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

"I didn't send for a music teacher."

"This chat room ain't big enough fer th' two of us."

Yeah, maybe this would work better outside.

"This gown just ain't big enough for the both of us."

"Dad, it's only a surveillance camera."

"Wine and women are off but can sing as much as you like!"

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

Syd Barrett.

Cows warming up.

New Seekers, New Danger, "I'd like to teach the world to sing..."

Luciano Povarotti

"You wanna piece o' me? Huh? HUH?!"

Karaoke on the Greyhound.

Man with a remote control in a stand-off with a cowboy on TV.

"Too late! George has spotted that the new series of X-factor has started!"

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'The Best Moment in your life...'

Anacreontick Society Meeting in Full Swing

Dance showdowns of the Old West.