Singing Executives Pillows

'Our new director is also a choir director. He will lead us in singing our company fight song.'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'Hang on a minute...'

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'Dow goes up, Dow goes 'round, but we'll keep rockin' 'til the Fed cracks down . . . '

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Money Flow increases as Tiger Woods returns to the game.

"California has always been too big for its britches."

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

Hollywood Think Tank

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

"Hear me out. Batman - again."

'The music business.'

'This space could be working for you' - entrepreneurs concert.

"The role is subtly nuanced and the person we choose has to bring a sense of 'lots of money for the producers' to the part."

'Your album is now the number one donation to charity shops.'

New symbol for Public TV: 'The tin cup' (PBS)

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

Michael Grade is right...ITV needs more real writers which is why we want you to commission 'celebrity novelists get me out of here'.

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

Movie Franchise

Note to viewers: We've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.