Record Label Executive Pillows

'Guy here says his songs are on our albums but he hasn't received any royalties.'

Simon Cowell

'We're all having to work harder in the music business now.' (Dog listens to four gramophones at once)

Record Label Bird

"They've got no talent...he sings off key...they've got no rhythm...they look like slobs...I'd say you've got a huge hit on your hands!"

'Your album is now the number one donation to charity shops.'

His Master Voice Desert Island

Rescuing the Music Industry.

'Hey, Lady. . . that looks like a laptop to me. . . youze is obviously a P2P gangster. . . get in the trunk and lets go fors a little ride.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

Groovy Baby

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

Money Flow increases as Tiger Woods returns to the game.

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

"Hear me out. Batman - again."

"California has always been too big for its britches."

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

"Hey, this is brilliant! Where do you get my ideas?"

'The music business.'

Godzilla vs. The Angry Movie Executives

"The role is subtly nuanced and the person we choose has to bring a sense of 'lots of money for the producers' to the part."

New symbol for Public TV: 'The tin cup' (PBS)

Note to viewers: We've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

Movie Franchise