Artistic Executive Pillows

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Welcome to the future"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

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"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Crap from the future.

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof