Film Executive Pillows

"Hey, this is brilliant! Where do you get my ideas?"

'No, the nude scene isn't essential to the plot, but we need it for the posters.'

"Gentlemen, this is Mr. Griscom, Super Films' new horror expert."

"We're done - there's nothing left in the world to bastardize."

"I need an ensemble film. Take five star vehicles and smush them together."

"Mom baby!"

"Can you hold on a minute? I have someone here from central casting."

Here's the idea - A Christmas 'feel good' movie with a slasher twist. The title, 'It's a wonderful knife'.

"Okay, so here's my pitch . . . this movie should be 89 minutes long but it clocks in at 2:42 . . ."

"Trust me, Max. Our script captures the warp and the woof of the way people really live!"

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

After acquiring former Murdoch owned Fox companies for $71.3 Billion... Disney rebrands them to make Fox a relic of the past.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Director/Action Man toy.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Stand-up Romcom

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Steve McQueen