Sinful Storyteller Gifts

"Can you imagine how being the only one here makes me feel?"

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already what you just confessed on your blog.'

'Oh well, if greed wasn't so good, we've still got lust, gluttony, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

"You think it's tough down there?"

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

The canteen food's pretty awful...

"You were always my favorite to guilt-trip."

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

Special Place in Hell...

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'Yes is no longer god enough. Can I get an Amen?'

'Since this is my first time in court, I wonder if it would be all right if my attorney got a couple of shots of me lying under oath.'

'I needed a little guidance on bulk pricing strategies... are you LISTENING?'

A man in hospital is exposed to Covid-19

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

'Police! Snow White we have complaints about your relationship with 'Grumpy', and one 'Dopey' some ten years ago.'

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

"One of his employees won the lottery!"

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

'It's HIS fault, he was doing the speed limit!'

It appeals to pride,greed,lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice.'

Claudette Melanson

"You really should take some art classes. That doesn't look anything like me."

"I would have made the gore sickening in a different way."

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."