Sinful Strategist Gifts

It appeals to pride,greed,lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice.'

Hoyt Group: Gluttony, lust, sloth, envy, pride, anger & greed-management.

Infernal Revenue Service

"You hired a lawyer to draft a summary of your report card?"

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

Book on Thumb Twiddling

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

Targets

'I've decided to make you someone else's problem.'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

'The fact that you worked as an unpaid intern shows you don't understand the concept of being a banker.'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'