Sarcastic Strategist Gifts

"OK, we'll form our usual crisis team to handle this problem..."

"My idiot boss failed my performance review... he said I have poor attention to detail!"

"It's Ok, I'm not working!!"

'Always remember that the most competent person is the person who can hide his incompetence best.'

'The fact that you worked as an unpaid intern shows you don't understand the concept of being a banker.'

'To Err is human...but to forgive is against company policy!'

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

Spent it on all the best investment advisors money can buy

"Can't you just troll me?"

"Where do you see yourself, say, five recessions from now?"

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"When you're through with that, there's a water cooler on seven that needs emptying."

I don't think we'll bother using graphics at this year's shareholders' meeting.

'I've decided to make you someone else's problem.'

"I'll be frank. The company's in trouble, and we'll need a scapegoat!"

"Congratulations, gentlemen - we have achieved failure."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"We've got to make 'efficiency' savings!"

By now you should have realised that I'm incompetent and taken my job...

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

"I encourage everyone to bring their fresh, new ideas to my special assistant."

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

Rising Gas Prices Hitting the Economic Recovery.

'Teamwork is just a chance to blame someone else!'

Instead of kicking him upstairs, why don't we throw him down the lift-shaft?

Acme Windows - In case of emergency, please replace glass

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

"How about fashionably never?"

"The sad thing is that this truly warped brain belongs to your boss."

"Go on. It's just a formality."

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."