Sinful Satire Seeker Gifts

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"What seems to be yer problem Art?"

SLOTH...still at lunch

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

Special Place in Hell...

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

"Uh oh! I just remembered we were supposed to pick up the midwife."

"Oh George, I wish you'd get things in perspective. . .!"

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

"I thought you might like to have a merrier brain for the new millennium!"

Why it takes longer for lawyers to get in: 'This would go a lot faster if you'd stop saying, 'alleged'...'

"Two bars—how about you?"

Alien throwing out astronaut with the rubbish.

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

"It appeals to pride, greed, lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice."

"Of that tree you shall not eat its fruit, lest you die -- plus I licked all the fruit to make it even less appealing."

"It's important to remember my son; without evil, we would all be out of a job."

Heaven Mk. II.

"Hi there! - Would you mind if I come in and talk about the Devil..?"

"Are you sure you should be on this list?!"