Sinful Satire Seeker Gifts

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"What seems to be yer problem Art?"

SLOTH...still at lunch

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

Hades Movie Awards After Show. The dealy sins were all here -- They love walking the red carpet! Pride won tonight for a leading role and envy won for a supporting role. Wrath was seen yelling at at the paparazzi ... Lust tried to meet beautiful actresses ... and Gluttony rushed off to the buffet. Greed is already counting all the money he'll make because he won an award. And when sloth won, he received the night's biggest ovation ... because he was too lazy to give an acceptance speech!

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

Special Place in Hell...

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"Oh George, I wish you'd get things in perspective. . .!"

"I thought you might like to have a merrier brain for the new millennium!"

"Uh oh! I just remembered we were supposed to pick up the midwife."

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

"These images clearly show we were here long before mankind."

Why it takes longer for lawyers to get in: 'This would go a lot faster if you'd stop saying, 'alleged'...'

And on the seventh day He rested

"Two bars—how about you?"

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

Alien throwing out astronaut with the rubbish.

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

Some other sins you may enjoy.

"Of that tree you shall not eat its fruit, lest you die -- plus I licked all the fruit to make it even less appealing."

"It appeals to pride, greed, lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice."

Heaven Mk. II.