Sin Detector Enthusiast Pillows

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"...it's another metal detector."

"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

'If you don't want to go digital, fine, but if you're going to store film in our cooler you have to save room some soda and beer."

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

Brain Bomb Detector

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

"We need to discuss your expense account."

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

Angry priest clutching car keys storms into church, saying: 'It's about time the Holy Father made inconsiderate parking a sin.'

'Do they make one of those that finds lost bones?'

Pesos!

"I just reviewed your life...Here's your handbasket."

No Hand Signals

'But Miss, I've only just got the hang of 'the little hand' and 'the big hand'...'

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

'Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses.'

"You fix it by buying a new one."

'Mary finally solved the blinking clock problem by putting black tape over it.'

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

Gift Cards In Hell

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

"In case of emergency, do you know how to work a pencil?"

To continue with tech support, you must be in front of your computer and have a soldering iron, a voltmeter and a circuit tester available.