Sin Analyzer Pillows

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Angry priest clutching car keys storms into church, saying: 'It's about time the Holy Father made inconsiderate parking a sin.'

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

"I just reviewed your life...Here's your handbasket."

'Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses.'

"You should do a sermon on the dangers of stupidity."

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

Gift Cards In Hell

"Ralph's over-interpreting the data again."

"Should we watch 'The Walking Dead' or C-SPAN?"

"I have headaches, stomach, pains, aching muscles, back pains, creaking joints, nausea and dry eyes."

'Yes, we;re a value-orientated investment fund.'

"One BHK, two baths, and sixty three plug points."

"My school day was mixed. Big gains in history class, English was flat, math declined by a quarter-grade, and I took a pounding at recess."

"That's it! I'm giving up TV! Every single show is awesome! So now nothing is worth watching."

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

"It was messed up. Everybody was wearing masks", "Hmmm." / "It was messed up. Nobody was wearing masks.", "Hmmm."

'Gracie's the only kid I know who analyses her halloween sweets before eating them.'

SLOTH...still at lunch

"I've concluded a meta analysis of the myriad of tests we've run and I think I can say with a certain level of certainty that you are probably screwed...."

'Impressive! You've accumulated the sins of a man three times your age.'

"I'm pretty sure I'm a hypochondriac sucking up scarce resources with my imaginary ailments....but I thought I'd come in and get a second opinion."

'We're pleased to announce we've taken a controlling interest in your personality.'

'Hoyt group: Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, Envy, Pride, Anger & Greed Management'

"Is gluttony the reason people won't eat Gluten?"