Norm Analyser Pillows

"It was messed up. Everybody was wearing masks", "Hmmm." / "It was messed up. Nobody was wearing masks.", "Hmmm."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

The Truth

election polling

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

Mystery Writer's Book Signing...Tell the Author How You Could Have COme Up With A Better Ending, 4-6pm.

"Ralph's over-interpreting the data again."

"I have headaches, stomach, pains, aching muscles, back pains, creaking joints, nausea and dry eyes."

'An F in English, a C- in history, a D in arithmatic, an A+ in Sex Education!'

Change Rooms.

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

"That's it! I'm giving up TV! Every single show is awesome! So now nothing is worth watching."

"I'm hitting a wall."

'Do you ever have those dreams where you're walking around fully clothed?'

Unacceptable Social Behaviour

Scruffy looking man asking whether one should take one's hat into an evening party

"I've concluded a meta analysis of the myriad of tests we've run and I think I can say with a certain level of certainty that you are probably screwed...."

Rejected resumes.

Colin enjoyed a 'light' meal!

Ernie tries to learn from his mistakes but it's like filling a teacup with a fire hose.

"I'm pretty sure I'm a hypochondriac sucking up scarce resources with my imaginary ailments....but I thought I'd come in and get a second opinion."

"Look...your school mailed its new student dress code. It says no skullcaps...no facial piercings...no sagging or torn pants...and no bare midriffs. Sorry...that last one was just for girls."

'It's not what you think Dad, we've been to the races.'

Condom company: Men will be prevented from entering women's section.

Lemmings #2 "It's good to see that some of the old traditions have survived"

'You were talking to your mother?! But...she's at a funeral!'