Sin Detector Enthusiast Gifts

"Pearly Gate? No, we call this the 'Evil-Sniffer 3000', but it's really just a metal detector."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"...it's another metal detector."

"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'If you don't want to go digital, fine, but if you're going to store film in our cooler you have to save room some soda and beer."

"We need to discuss your expense account."

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

Brain Bomb Detector

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

"The Devil's Advocate." Press Room. At last, Ernie, the first edition of our newspaper is ready to go! Did we cover all seven deadly sins? I think so ... We've got greed in the business section, sloth in the leisure section, gluttony in the restaurant reviews and lust in the movie reviews. How about envy and pride? Envy in the gossip column, pride in birth announcements. Okay, but how about wrath? Hey, the opinion section is full of it!

Angry priest clutching car keys storms into church, saying: 'It's about time the Holy Father made inconsiderate parking a sin.'

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

'Do they make one of those that finds lost bones?'

Pesos!

No Hand Signals

'But Miss, I've only just got the hang of 'the little hand' and 'the big hand'...'

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

"I just reviewed your life...Here's your handbasket."

'Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses.'

"You fix it by buying a new one."

Gift Cards In Hell

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

'Mary finally solved the blinking clock problem by putting black tape over it.'

"In case of emergency, do you know how to work a pencil?"