Sin Scrutinizers Gifts

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

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He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

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"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

'The pitcher tested negative for steroids. The pitcher's mound we're not too sure about.'

Angry priest clutching car keys storms into church, saying: 'It's about time the Holy Father made inconsiderate parking a sin.'

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

"The Devil's Advocate." Press Room. At last, Ernie, the first edition of our newspaper is ready to go! Did we cover all seven deadly sins? I think so ... We've got greed in the business section, sloth in the leisure section, gluttony in the restaurant reviews and lust in the movie reviews. How about envy and pride? Envy in the gossip column, pride in birth announcements. Okay, but how about wrath? Hey, the opinion section is full of it!

"There must be an app for this..."

"I just reviewed your life...Here's your handbasket."

'Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses.'

"You should do a sermon on the dangers of stupidity."

Gift Cards In Hell

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

'Yes, we;re a value-orientated investment fund.'

'He decided he'd rather represent gluttony.'

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

Satan's desk boxes say mortal and venial.

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

GP motto 'If in doubt call it a syndrome'

'Impressive! You've accumulated the sins of a man three times your age.'

"But attendance is up."

SLOTH...still at lunch

Bring down the Airlines.

Smoking Gun

Say It Ain't So, Ho

"$865 attorney fee, $198 title insurance fee, $150 administration fee, $135 title search fee, and heck, let's add a $200 'at this point the client probably won't notice anyway' fee."

'We're pleased to announce we've taken a controlling interest in your personality.'

"Is gluttony the reason people won't eat Gluten?"