Simcity Strategist T-Shirts

"No, SimCity doesn't count as managerial experience."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

'Computer editing software with an obnoxious ego.' 'Look, you really don't want to say that, do you?'

"It seems our new computer system is allowing us to implement idiotic ideas ten times faster than we've previously been able to!"

"Did you order takeout?"

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

'Sales are down. We tried to make the latest version, of our best selling software, foolproof. Apparently, someone was making better fools.'

'We'd like one pizza cut into eleven pieces.'

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"You're going to love this app...Find My Bone."

"Face it, Larry. We're small fish and des Moines isn't that big a pond."

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"The building code says we can use structural steel and poured concrete, and we can go 40 stories high - it doesn't say we have to!"

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

"...then sell all my pork bellies, and buy steel."

"Ok, if we could just synchronise chairs..."

"If marriage is so great how come you never hear about simulated marriage?"

'The new automated system was a bit of a disaster!'

;What kind of deodorant are you?'

Don couldn't figure it. His aftershave had worked great for that guy on tv

"Before negotiations begin, we'll soften them up with 15 minutes of cute cat videos."

'Hello Ms. Russel, I'm going to be late in. I'm being held up at Euston.'

Clamped car in traffic

Quantity over quality

'You know there may be something in this idea of promoting the firm in shops!'

Smell No Evil

Mens Cologne: Throw the cops off the scent.