Silver Fox Sitcom Lover Pillows

"In old age work is less fun and fun is more work."

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

"Spoiler alert."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

Beam me up. Scotty!

Situation Tragedy.

Silver Fox

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

'We,ve still got it,Fred-it's a pity they don't want it anymore!'

Larry David

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'

Good Morning Britain

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

Bunny TV.

"Of course Daddy could explain what a superconducting supercollider is, sweetie, but just at the moment Daddy is watching 'America's Most Wanted.'"

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

"C-Span is our reality television."