Silo Sage Gifts

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

Music producers.

One way only.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I'm bad with languages. The only foreign sounding phrase I know is crack-a-brewski."

"I hope it's not contagious."

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

Corn Silo / Wheat Silo / Missile Silo

Since Greg was accepted by Mensa, he'd rather not say anything than say something incorrect.

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

"It needs more old salt."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Distilleries Association

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer is a know-it-all

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

'It was Bob's last wish to spread his ashes on the spot where he spent most of his athletic career.'

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

'Playing out of tune doesn't make it a remix!'

Taggers rest retirement village

I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&*@ a gift.

'Your Dell went to hell.'

"Dad, I misbehaved at school again, so my teacher sent me home with a bill for her therapy."