Silly Vacation Scenarios Gifts

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

Beach con-man.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked."

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

Death Takes A Time-Share

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

"My husband won't do Florida - too sunny. He's afraid of falling asleep on the beach and waking up 75-years-old."

Spiderman car window cleaner

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

'Next time, we set up camp during high tide.'

"We'll see you soon, kids! Your mother and I have won a romantic cruise for two on some man's huge ark."

Easter Island.

'It's for you.'

'It'll be a working vacation.'

Hiker and the Rodents.

'Old fart and the sea'

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

"Han stuffed himself with Kessel's fried Bantha tacos and now he's got the Kessel runs."

Total Scum Block

Sign pointing to the beach and in the direction of mobile phones.

". . . And if we all look to our left, we can see exactly what we saw an hour ago."

'Don't worry. I have no intention of drinking the water.'

'I need a vacation after that fishing trip!'

Stanley Middleton

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

Branch No3 is free sir: It will be $10...

Southwest Hampton

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

"Tabarnak!"

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

"Wait a minute! I just robbed my own house!"