Silly Sermon Lover Gifts

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

How's my sermon. . .

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

Sermon Applause.

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

'Of course my fact-finding tour is legitimate. Can I help if if there are more facts in the Bahamas than Cleveland?'

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

"And on the fourth day god finished the work that he had done and he rested. . ."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

Applause

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

Come To Church Today and Beat the Christmas Rush.

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

How's my Sermon . . .

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

Male On Sunday