Silly Jogger Gifts

Robber on treadmill

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

Fast Food Dieter

'Are we having fun yet?'

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

"It's a deal: Two more years, then we let ourselves go."

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

What would it take to get you to start running? Frankly, doctor, it would take someone chasing me.

The circular nature of running wear.

I bought a pair of running shoes, and haven't seen them since.

'He stated jogging to work.'

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

'You're being exploited. Do you know that?'

Never wear running shoes with a jogging suit.

'I think I'll walk to work today.'

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

"And that's why I avoid moisture-wicking sportswear."

'Sex, drugs, rock and roll and running.'

Literal Following of Directions: RUN

"It's my personal best - 34 steps in one hour."

'I've tried jogging, but my wife always catches up.'

Death Goes For A Jog

'My waist has spread, my arteries are clogged, cholesterol is elevated, but my legs still go up and down.'