Silly Jogger Gifts

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

Fast Food Dieter

'Are we having fun yet?'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

"It's a deal: Two more years, then we let ourselves go."

The circular nature of running wear.

'He stated jogging to work.'

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

Never wear running shoes with a jogging suit.

'You're being exploited. Do you know that?'

"And that's why I avoid moisture-wicking sportswear."

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

'I think I'll walk to work today.'

Literal Following of Directions: RUN

'I've tried jogging, but my wife always catches up.'

Death Goes For A Jog

"It's my personal best - 34 steps in one hour."

Marathon Runners all on the phone.

'My waist has spread, my arteries are clogged, cholesterol is elevated, but my legs still go up and down.'