Silent Letter Lover Gifts

' Once again, the name is Perry, with a P, as in pterodactyl.'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Santa called but you were out!

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

The Colonel reading Clive's letters to the ladies of the regiment.

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

"I won the spelling bee because Eddie Scott invented three letters."

"How many letters can you read?"

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. The alphabet invention is great. We should copyright it!

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

I ONIC. F. E. That group will be very different depending upon whether a "C" or "R" joins them in that second spot.

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

Literary rain

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

"It's a letter from my boss. He says he's not paying me for the time I've been stranded on this island."

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

"They published my letter about recycling newspapers."

"Dear Grandma, Mom told me I should write you a letter cause you don’t have a computer or cel phone like regular people. Dad said, Old people like getting letters in the mail. All this is making me so sad. Thanks a lot Grandma! I miss you. ❤️ Sofi"

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

Astronaut startled by post delivered to spaceship.

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

Reading the love-letter

Mime on invisible phone in restaurant.

'Then in the next round, I said to Carol, vowel, consonant, vowel, consonant...'

"We think it had something to do with love."

"The concept is simple. People call in with questions on existece and reality , and you respond with total silence."

"Mum, the school has signed up for a skunk-outreach initiative, but don't worry, it's only a penpal programme. . ."

"They're love poems alright, but he cuts up the lines, throws them in the air and reassembles them randomly..."

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'