Significantly Funny Sign Lover Pillows

Ocean

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Cake Free Zone

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Reading the sports pages.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Beware of God"

Aging Problems

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

"We never talk anymore."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

"Please don't go!"

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

Wedding cake figures having marital problems.