Sign Reader Extraordinaire Pillows

'He has an inferiority complex.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

No Immediate Danger

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"I'm learning to live with existence."

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Yes, That Was The Exit

"My guess it's guacamole."

'It's almost as if they knew!'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

Stadium. No fans allowed. In baseball, "shutout" now has two meanings.

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

If you can read this, you're standing too close.

Confused drivers

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

Will hide my face with this sign for food. ?

"No religious nuts!"

A 'DIVERSION' sign points to a crazy guy.

'I'm terribly sorry. I thought it said 'gods'.'

"He's always been an optimist."

Hanging out your shingle

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

"Damn. Totally mis-read that."

Can't read 'SLOW'.

Way to go

No Skateboard. No Slouching.

Sea Rise Beach: Enter At Own Risk.