Sign Connoisseur Pillows

My Exit

Driver sees road sign designating area as a bedroom community.

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

Fireworks Limited: Gone Out - Do Not Return!

"Stop, you idiot! Can't you read?!"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Dog Walker

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Shaved Ice

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

'So who's smoking?'

Expensive greeting cards.

S**t Threw a Goose

Moliere

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

"No religious nuts!"

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Hanging out your shingle

No Skateboard. No Slouching.

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Way to go