Sight Tests Gifts

Optometrist meeting agenda gets smaller on each line.

Childrens Eye Test

Large print e-book.

Hospital Departments

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

The Pessimetrist.

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

Oculist.

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

Budget Opticians.

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

Sight test with a violin.

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

Once the contact lens was properly rinsed and replaced in Roger's eye, the hunt resumed.

'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

Tour Bus

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

The importance of having your Is tested.

Optometrist: Eyes Examined While You Wait.