Sight Tests Gifts

Optometrist meeting agenda gets smaller on each line.

Childrens Eye Test

Love is Blind.

Large print e-book.

Hospital Departments

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

The Pessimetrist.

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

Budget Opticians.

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

Oculist.

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

Sight test with a violin.

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

Once the contact lens was properly rinsed and replaced in Roger's eye, the hunt resumed.

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"

The importance of having your Is tested.

Good News, You have perfect 20 vision!

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

Optometrist: Eyes Examined While You Wait.