Eye Tests Gifts

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'Got one in English?'

"How are those?"

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Hospital Departments

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"How many letters can you read?"

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

Childrens Eye Test

"I'm afraid you're developing Guac-loma in

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

Oculist.

Budget Opticians.

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

"Since you're a lawyer, it will be a bar exam."

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

Sight test with a violin.

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

'How aout this one? Better or worse?'

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

Optometrist: Eyes Examined While You Wait.