Eye Exam Gifts

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

Nervous Oral Testing

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Hospital Departments

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"How many letters can you read?"

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

Budget Opticians.

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

"I'm afraid you're developing Guac-loma in

Oculist.

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

"Since you're a lawyer, it will be a bar exam."

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

Optometrist: Eyes Examined While You Wait.

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

'Do you have this chart in Big Print'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'