Eye Exam Gifts

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

Nervous Oral Testing

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Hospital Departments

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"How many letters can you read?"

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

"I'm afraid you're developing Guac-loma in

Budget Opticians.

Oculist.

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

"Since you're a lawyer, it will be a bar exam."

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

Optometrist: Eyes Examined While You Wait.

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

'How aout this one? Better or worse?'

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"