Eye Test Aficionado Gifts

Good News, You have perfect 20 vision!

'I really crammed last night.'

Love is Blind.

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Can't read 'SLOW'.

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

"Eye irritation is quite common when Saturn and Jupiter are in this position. It's called conjunctivitis."

I had my eyes dilated.

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

Childrens Eye Test

Oculist.

"I think an IQ test would be more appropriate at this time."

Budget Opticians.

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

"Yes, I really love my new job at the ophthalmology clinic, except for feeling a little... creeped out."

'Make sure they fit straight'

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

"Doctor, I've got double vision...!"

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

'We're hopeful the built up pressure will subside, but right now he's still in glaucoma.'

"I just got these new glasses from my ophthalmologist – they come with tiny windshield wipers to clean the fog from my mask!"

'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'

'How aout this one? Better or worse?'

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"

Optometrist: Eyes Examined While You Wait.

'Good news, Little Orphan Annie. We've finally got some donated corneas for you.'