Sigh And Tut Aficionado Pillows

Impatient queue of people. The signs read queue here,sigh heavily from here, and Tut Loudly from here.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Gesundheit!"

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Jack in the Box

King and Jester

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

Trappist talk show.

'Don't you ever get tired of all the whispering?'

"How sweet of you to say -- and how dare you!"

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

The shape of things to come

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

Looks like this is the only contest Fluffy has a chance of winning today!

Along with being the first passengers on the space elevator, Fenwick and Charles set a new world record for longest awkward elevator silence.

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

'Oh dear, it looks like the men have been talking about work again.'

"You're not my husband."

Doug Kenney

Kid has pot stuck on his head.

"All her other suitors could sing and dance of course, but Mummy chose me because I made her laugh as well..."

'You are here' T-shirt,

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

Frankie Boyle

Bucky's dream of becoming a stand-up comedian ended abruptly the very first time he stepped into the spotlight.