Siege Weapons Fan Gifts

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

'I envisioned something more robust'

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

DING DONG!

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

Really big bang

Tar umbrellas for sale at viking attack

The Trench-Sealer

For the War Inventions Board: The Shell-diverter for returning the enemy's fire.

Service Entry.

"They've deployed their new missile defense system."

"The Normans are coming and I can't decide on whether to pour a simple consomme on them, or a more complex bisque."

'...and why do they call this a 'battlement'?'

'Wow, I'll earn my black belt in no time.'

"I can't help you if you don't let your guard down."

Repurposed Porpise: US Navy

Eustarch the Younger - the kid who brought the Trojan Horse in through the gates of Troy 'just to play with for a while'.

One More River to Cross. How the Last German got back across the Yser.

Naval Battle off Memphis, Leading to Capture of City

"Would you like the martinis shaken or grrrrrred?"

'I thought this thing had been tried and tested.' 'It has... Didn't work that time either.'

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

Soldiers attempt to break into a castle with a credit card.

'Long time no see, 'Slim.' I'm guessing you're not as fast as you used to be.'