Siege Weapons Fan Gifts

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

Memo Mania

'I envisioned something more robust'

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

DING DONG!

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

The Trench-Sealer

Really big bang

For the War Inventions Board: The Shell-diverter for returning the enemy's fire.

Tar umbrellas for sale at viking attack

Service Entry.

"They've deployed their new missile defense system."

"The Normans are coming and I can't decide on whether to pour a simple consomme on them, or a more complex bisque."

"I can't help you if you don't let your guard down."

'...and why do they call this a 'battlement'?'

Naval Battle off Memphis, Leading to Capture of City

"Would you like the martinis shaken or grrrrrred?"

'Wow, I'll earn my black belt in no time.'

Repurposed Porpise: US Navy

One More River to Cross. How the Last German got back across the Yser.

Eustarch the Younger - the kid who brought the Trojan Horse in through the gates of Troy 'just to play with for a while'.

'I thought this thing had been tried and tested.' 'It has... Didn't work that time either.'

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

Soldiers attempt to break into a castle with a credit card.