Siege Strategy Fan Gifts

Soldiers attempt to break into a castle with a credit card.

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

Memo Mania

"Business has been steady."

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

Carrot & nose on sticks.

'I envisioned something more robust'

Domino Effect of Rising Gas Prices.

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

Next Direction

DING DONG!

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

For the War Inventions Board: The Shell-diverter for returning the enemy's fire.

Tar umbrellas for sale at viking attack

Service Entry.

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

"They've deployed their new missile defense system."

'...and why do they call this a 'battlement'?'

"The Normans are coming and I can't decide on whether to pour a simple consomme on them, or a more complex bisque."

'Go to the bank and see if it's still there'

Naval Battle off Memphis, Leading to Capture of City