Sidewalk Satirist Pillows

"Please, no gift cards."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

Suburban street.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

How much for the lamp post?

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

Autumn Leaves

Traffic Lights Medicine

Lex Ave Express

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

",,,These job cuts will not affect patient care...."

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

'This is totally bananas!'

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

'It's my first dog house with indoor plumbing.'

Titian's Venus of Mamaroneck

'The brakes aren't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...The escalator isn't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...why don't you walk up?'

A street of old man bars.

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

(Used to be) END.