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Kissing Booth

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Succession 2

"Happy Birthday!"

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

Clown Shaving

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

"And now your General Knowledge Round...Where does clean laundry come from?"

And that's why I'm still single!

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

'Forgettable' - The Hit Musical

'Can you assure my son that you only use vegetarian sausages?'

Billy Box lived here...Oh, no he didn't...Oh, yes he did.

The Great Banzinni discovers the oldest trick in the book.

"When I can't sleep I count Powerpoint slides."

The Lobster Man - The Sand-Eating Child - The Alligator Lady - The Living Head

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

'I can't believe they made a sequel.'

"Once again, the score is tied."

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

"I'm getting really tired of this cancel culture."

McTV, 'It's all singing commercials.'

'The following program was made possible by remixing a bunch of OTHER programs....'