Sibling With A Pet Pillows

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Reigning Cats and Dogs

"Jealous!"

"Look, you got mail! Press the 'fetch' key."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

A large leaf falling on a dog

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Haute Suture

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

'They're dog roses!'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

Pet Entertainers

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

State of the Art Dog.

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."