Sibling Banter Gifts

'The bad news is, we only had enough money for one birthday present. . . the good news is that your mom has come up with a really fun way to see who gets it.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

Bathroom Fairy

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

'Baby sand shark eat their siblings.'

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

Look out, you're sitting on a worm!

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

'No, she can not come out to play again.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'good taste is timeless, Al.'

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

'Mom! - Jeffrey just said a DADDY word!!'

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed all my brothers and sisters."

'What...you just sold your little sister?!'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

"Evelyn, Leslie, Marion, Tracy, and I, Carroll, want to know why our baby brother will get to be named Jeff."

"No, I'm not here for your little sister."

'He's bitten me for the last time!'