Shuffleboard Enthusiasts Pillows

"For the last time, we don't have a shuffleboard court."

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

Pirate eye test

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Skate Bored

'I'd kill for concrete.'

"I use to be a human beat-box but found it too humdrum."

Dog fetches dice

"Let's look for spots and then talk about what we would've done on 'em 10 years ago."

"You're pathetic."

'Eddy - For Heavens sake, stop watching Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-movies!'

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

Skateboarding

"What sort of a Mall is this anyway?"

'I teach history specializing in swashbuckling.'

"Gas prices have forced the pastor to economize."

Skateboarder discovers his local 'Skate Park' is occupied by parked flatfish.

"I've estimated that I've given you over $100,000 in tech-support over the years. Since you're my dad, I'll give you a discount. I'll take a skateboard."

"You are so lucky. You are not going to classes for the next six months."

Shaker Timeouts

'Wow, thanks for finding my skateboard, daddy!'

'Well - unbuckle and get swashing.'

"We should make it past the rocks by nightfall, provided our luck holds."

Skateboarding

'HI, Mom. Meet my new significant other.'

'Regarding your skateboarding accident: I need a note from your wife as to why you did something so stupid.'

"The break is set for eleven. Pass it on."

'Have you got something that smells like a skateboard?'

'She's still a little annoyed with you for breaking her skateboard!'

'Yes, it is a nice ship but it cost me an arm and a leg.'

"We made it more convenient so that you don't even have to walk now."

'You conned me into this date - boasting about having your own transport!'