Shuffleboard Enthusiast Pillows

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"The break is set for eleven. Pass it on."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'How about a game of cards?'

Snowboarding downhill.

Pirate eye test

Skateboard

Existential Risk

A man looking askance at a child on a tank-like skateboard

Let the Summer Games Begin!

Skate Bored

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

"I use to be a human beat-box but found it too humdrum."

'I'd kill for concrete.'

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

'Mary, hold my calls. And bring my board.'

Corporate Image

Skateboard Olympics.

"Who the hell didn't rewind Jumanji 20 years ago?!?"

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

"Congratulations, dad! You won for 'Most Imaginative Maneuver' on a skateboard!"

'Eddy - For Heavens sake, stop watching Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-movies!'

"You're pathetic."

Let's do it.'

"I'm Bored."

"Your dad’s right — this is way better than watching TV."

'I teach history specializing in swashbuckling.'

"Holy smokes, he's undefeatable!"

The Trump Administration Alternative Reality Game

Skateboard Park. Lessons Available. The instructor taught me all I need to know in ten minutes. He said "forget it."

"Ken does know that isn't real money, right?"

'I think we are finally turning the corner...'