Shrubbery Sheriff T-Shirts

Everything you planted for us is ruined! So I see. I called the cops, but they wouldn't arrest the culprits. I know. They don't have the jail space.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

The Lawman

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Sheriff.

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

Investigating Yourself

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

Gun Ego

The modern sheriff.

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

Uh-oh!

'What about high noon? Is high noon good for you?'

"Don't even think about it, cowboy."