Shrubbery Sheriff T-Shirts

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

The Lawman

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

Sheriff.

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

Gun Ego

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

The modern sheriff.

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

I could clean up this town if I could keep my gun belt on.

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

Uh-oh!

'They say he came to clean up the town.'