Shredder Mishap Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh, no! I typed up all my New Year's Resolutions without saving copies, only to drop them in the shredder by accident! Now I'll never remember them! How clumsy of me! Oh, well!"

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

The Affordable Shredder

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

The hall of bad ideas.

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

Shredder.

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

Recycle Station for Confidential Files

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

"The food in your pantry may kill you, details tonight...on Eyewitness News!"

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

Two hunters and a near miss

Rental Car Return. By the way, the airbags worked great!

It was finally decided that the Chinese-made machetes were a poor investment.

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

'And all these years I just thought you were very proficient.'

'Cat Heaven.'

'Oops sorry, but it is such a big target'

"Having trouble with that paper shredder again, Barry?"

'I don't even need to look under the helmet. He blew a head gasket.'

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

Blowing your nose musically.

"You can have all my treats for a week if you promise not to tell anyone I dropped my phone in the toilet."