Showtime Scholar Gifts

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

"I've outgrown my backpack."

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

The Giamatti era

Bigger Brain

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

"We started learning about units of measurement in math class, but I don't really understand it, so I've got an acre of homework to do."

Newborn sees his new father viewing him in hospital nursery thinks "Showtime.".

Waiting for the results.

"Dad, I want to become a doctor. I already know something about anatomy: A human being consists of a head, a belly, legs, arms, and a smartphone."

"Get ready."

Graduate

Oculist.

'Your wife came by and left a message'

Anton Mosimann

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

"It's the ABCs, Justin. You don't need to fact check."

"This next one is for all the people who did the right thing and stayed home."

"It's been so nice getting to interact with you for these past six years. Here's your first device."

"I got all my homework last night. Mom hid the remote."

The seniors are crazed about college. Admissions. I plan to be totally chill. 1000 colleges. You're not worried about the pre-SATs this Saturday? Of course not. West Fester High. I forgot all about them!!!

"If you phone it in at work, make sure you have unlimited data."

Usher

"She's so smart...on the highway of life, she's in the E-Z Pass lane."

The Greatest Show Unearthed.

"Sorry, angel - showtime!"

"I got the grant! I'm researching whether or not money can buy happiness."

Snow-A Thesaurus

Instead of caps and gowns, night school graduates have to wear nightcaps and nightgowns.