Shower Skipper Gifts

Hot Water

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"Honestly, sweetheart, they haven't brought out a little Ellen MacArthur set. As soon as they do daddy will get you one."

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

My Musical Influences

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

'He always trains until the very last minute.'

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

New York Sightseeing Cruises

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

'What type of line are you using?'

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

Young against old

Beach Bouncer

"I'm putting you on a skipping diet. . .Skip cakes and wine."

'I'm on a great new diet -- I sleep through breakfast.'

In the supermarket

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"Off season fishing"

Like so many other unsigned artists. . .Ron's passion was to sing in the nude!