Show Stopper Gifts

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

"They still had so much TV ahead of them."

"Tonight's performance has been canceled, because the star of our show has decided that musicals are stupid."

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

Woman crying with happiness.

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

Rap-scallions

TV Situations vacant.

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

I didn't dress this way to go unnoticed

'Mind if I wear it to the door? I want to test audience reaction.'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

"Sealed for your diets protection."

Mic Drop

Harvey Smith.

"Congratulations! It's a sitcom!"

'Looks like the work of the infamous international frequent flyer burglar - Better dust for carbon finger prints!'

"I'm getting really tired of this cancel culture."

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

Mic drop

Just say no.

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

Policeman painting vandals with 'anti-vandal paint' instead of painting the walls.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

Suspicious Person Ban.

Shelly and Marv took Most Hirsute Husband for the third year running with their sensational 'scrub the floor' routine.

"....and I said, 'as a matter of fact, I DO have a bowling ball in my bag'."

"People are always discriminating against my dad. At work, people say, 'clean up that spill' and 'get under the sink.'"

Rosh Hashanah used to be a confusing time for the hearing impaired.

"Can I have a restricted view seat. I can't stand the sight of the star turn."

'That's not the sort of request I meant, Madam, and anyway it's physically impossible!'

'Hurry it up, will you? We're on in five minutes!'

'You gotta be kidding me!'