Show Pitch Geek Pillows

"It's a fly-on-the-wall documentaryo about a reality TV producer making a programme about pitching shows to a TV company."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

The Goalkeeper

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"Ooops...wrong doctor !"

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

Wilfried Zaha

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'Any questions?'

"What a midfield wizard!"

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

George Best

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

'You want to run that by me again?'

'It's a new reality show call 'Detoxing with the Stars'...'

"Fantastic business concept! I'm sure with that we'll convince the bank to give us a 87,000,000 Euro loan!"

Arsene Wenger

Bowled out.

'My idea is to beg you to give me some money.'

"Do you have any other strengths?"

Connor Wickham

'What's the big deal - scoring is what you're paid squillions to do?'

Football fan

Jack Grealish

'Uniformaly accelerated motion...'