Shouting Master T-Shirts

Shriek! Scream! Yell louder. Bellow! More rage, please. Debate club?! Yeah. They switched to a cable tv talk show format.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'She could've given me a point or two for originality.'

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

Communication

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Whoa, too much information!"

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

"Let's not discuss it."

'... And now I shall pass you over to tonight's speaker who will give a brief summary of my introduction.'

He took every chance to practice his talk.

I heard you're going to Mars to star on some reality show. Yep. Mars One. We launch ten years from now. Ten years? You don't have the attention span to wait ten minutes. In ten years, you'll have forgotten all about this. And when that day comes, I will mock and berate you mercilessly. You'll be dead in ten years. Ridiculing you gives me a reason to go on! Being around you gives me a reason to go to Mars.

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

'I've lost my voice...'

'I'm not naturally dense you know...Its taken years of practice.'

'The following speaker was scheduled to give his talk last week, but needed more time to prepare his impromptu speech.'

Loudspeaker announces fans' derogatory chant.

"OMG! I'm lost for words!"

I love badminton.

Boy, this cold medicine works great.

'You still have the fish shop then.'

'Make it sizzle? Make it pop? Am I writing a speech or frying bacon?'

Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but caught the theme park ride.

"It's true you always need to be prepared but you're not going to need the microwave."

Black belt in gossiping.

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

Grand Opening

"I already have my crossing-the-street badge. How about I set up your Twitter feed?"

Blinkered Walk Past the Cake Shop.

'This is my second in command, boys, and she's coming on the camping trip.'

"Yikes! You scared me. Don't ever sneak up on me like that again!"

"I missed a penalty wearing these."