Shortcut Explorer T-Shirts

'I took a short cut.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Bike Rides

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Whatever he's eating.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee Menu

Coffee

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

Body Systems

Heart Disease Menu

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

"I think we could work very well together."