Shopping Snob Gifts

"Mind wiping that scanner first? There's no telling whose stuff has been dragged over it."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Online Shopping.

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"I've been window-shopping..."

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: After a Fashion

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'

That suit of yours is pretty appalling.

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

Add to Basket?

'He outgrew his shoes on the way home from the shoe store.'

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Gallery Guide

'It was an impulse buy Mary. At 75 percent off in the New Year sale AND free home delivery. . .'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'Before you say anything, I've saved more than you earn in a month!'

'Whenever I'm down in the dumps I buy myself a new pair of shoes.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"You're wearing a lab coat under false pretenses."