Shopping Queen Gifts

"You should try taking more naps yourself. Sleep is free."

"You don't look as if you voted."

"She really could shop."

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'You should thank me - I'm stimulating the ECONOMY for you!'

'It's 3 weeks until my birthday? How long is that in shopping days?'

Department Store - Women wearing shirt saying 'I love pre-approved credit cards.'

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

"Hi, honey, do you want to see what you bought me for our anniversary?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Toadstools

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Cut Price

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"