Shopping Mall Wanderer Gifts

New Jersey's Miracle Mile.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

See you at the farmers market!

"I shop, therefore I am."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Island of Lost Guys.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Customer Convention

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Sketches by Boz - Monmouth Street

Brick and Mortar

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

Olives

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

"I'm looking for a book on how to raise kids easily, but I can't seem to find it anywhere..."

Placier.

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

Vegicurious

'Iambic tetrameter? Isn't that one of those conditions that's now an official disease?'

'Fruits, vegetables, herbs, spices, nuts, berries, roots, tubers, stems, leaves.'